The type of person I'm trying to be

I've thought a lot lately about my priorities, what type of person I'd like to be. Which is funny because it's not like I didn't know before, and it's not that I had stopped trying to be that person either. I believe that some of us, like myself, have to be reminded of what it is that we are striving for. Otherwise the details, whys, and wherefores knock us around a little.

The best way I can describe it is like when you walk into a room and you can't remember why the blazes you're there or what you went in to get, you just know it's SOMETHING, and eventually after thinking it over you remember, feel silly and pick up whatever it was, or say whatever it was you were supposed to and walk back out, no harm done. It's like that in a larger sense, and we forgotten why we are where we are, when we are etc.

For those that know me, it will come as no shock that I remembered what it was that I want to be through two things: wonderful people that are or have been in my life, and quotes. The particular quote in question was this :

" I want it said of me, by those who know me best, that I always plucked a thistle and planted a flower wherever I thought a flower would grow." -- Abraham Lincoln.

Really, it's not that different that my status message of "Be the change you wish to see in the world." which was said by one of my other favorite people, Gandhi. But, somehow it is. There is something about the idea of being a constant reminder of the kindness that exists in the world that makes me smile, not because of the potential for that which lies in myself. But for the potential that lies in all of us. Every single human being is capable of good, isn't that a marvelous thought? That we all have the capacity to be symbols of love, kindness, even hope?

I am blessed to have and to have had the people that I do in my life, they are constant reminders to push myself to do my best in every facet of my life. They're absolutely incredible even when they think they are failing, or when they are in their deepest moments of despair. I hope that they know that, especially the ones who can no longer be in my life. I would like to think that somehow, they know that I am grateful and that they are loved. Not only for who they are (which they are), but for the person they have helped, and will continue to help me become.

To anyone wondering why am I writing this, I am writing this based on the idea (and yes... it WILL be in the form of a quote) " You may never know what results come of your actions, but if you do nothing, there will be no result"-- Gandhi. This is also known as the "Ripple Effect" that your actions have ripples that spread etc. I decided today that I'd like to ripple bravery, hope, gratitude, and kindness out into the world. Not for any reason in particular, it's not that I see a lack of those things demonstrated, I see that they are alive and well everywhere I look, I just did it because I wanted to. :)

Have a wonderful day!

What do you REALLY want?

Forewarning. This could all be wrong. It may only be true for me, and maybe it's just wrong on every level something could be wrong. My intent and hope in writing this, is that if you read it and parts of it sound right, you use those parts. If its totally not right to you that's more than fine, please express your own views. This is just what I see, if you have a different view, share it so I can see more, and learn things I wouldn't on my own.

And [the Messiah] said unto them, "If a man told God that he wanted most of all to help the suffering world, no matter the price to himself, and God answered and told him what he must do, should the man do as he is told?"

"Of course, Master!" cried the many. "It should be pleasure for him to suffer the tortures of hell itself, should God ask it!"

"No matter what those tortures, no matter how difficult the task?"

"Honor to be hanged, glory to be nailed to a tree and burned, if so be that God has asked," said they.

"And what would you do," the Master said unto the multitude, "if God spoke directly to your face and said, 'I COMMAND THAT YOU BE HAPPY IN THE WORLD, AS LONG AS YOU LIVE.' What would you do then?"

This is a short story I stumbled across. I absolutely love it, it's from a book by Richard Bach. It is one of the most blunt , and true things I have seen. I recently had a very good talk with one of my favorite people in the whole world, and it becomes increasingly clear to me, that we all need reminders for what we already know. I am so blessed, because I have someone in my life who can take care of me, and make me happy, it's me. If I can find nothing to be happy about, that is a problem with ME.

It is not my job to ensure the happiness of everyone in the whole world. I can do my best . Sure. But, if I can't take care of myself, how can I really benefit everyone else? How can you really share what you don't have? How can you unconditionally love someone without fear of resentment or jealousy, if you are always hurting yourself and going against who you are and what you believe in effort to appease them? Why not love yourself enough to find someone who loves you so much flawed as you are, that they try to help you become the person you want to be? And you return that to them. Not the person you think they should be, or want to make them into. I mean the person they want to be, the best version of who they already are, because you love them so much that you want to know they love themselves.

To me, that is the basis of love: wanting the best for someone, wanting infinite happiness for them. Because you love them, and want the best for them, you become the best version of who you are. Isn't that what you would want them to have? Talk is cheap. Even if you don't know who you are supposed to end up with, shouldn't you love that person enough to want to give them the best version of yourself? Shouldn't you be happy and become the person you would want for them to have? Even before they come into your life so you don't have to scramble around when you find them and then try and go about convincing them not only that you love them, but that they should love you.

Here's the thing. If you truly love them, you wouldn't ever want to resent them. So you wouldn't do things that go against who you are, or your beliefs of right and wrong. Because if you can love someone like that, chances are you love yourself. And if you loved yourself, why would you want to be with someone who really didn't want you? You can find all sorts of things to love about who you are, if they don't that doesn't make you defective or mean you need to become someone or something you're not. It means you need to walk away, for both parties sakes. So that both of you can find people you can love, grow with, and help you love yourself even more.

So... If you want to be happy. Go out, and be happy. No matter what, no matter how hard it is. It all depends on you, and rests on your shoulders.