The Monkey Bars

"Getting over a painful experience is much like crossing monkey bars. You have to let go at some point in order to move forward."

I believe that all of us have the ability to hold on, and to let go. I also think that both are completely necessary to our lives. I believe there are things that we should hold onto with everything we have in us. I also believe that there are things that we have to let go of, because they hold us back from growth, and ultimately... from happiness. I think that things can also change from one category to the other, and we have to be sure to listen very closely so we get the hint. And honestly, holding on or letting go can be completely terrifying but the decision has to be made which you're going to do, and avoiding the decision in the end, makes the choice for you.

I am currently.. facing this decision in a way. I've made this particular decision many times before, and some days the decision is much easier than others. It essentially is "Do I let go or do I hold on?" Do I let go of my ideals, the things I love about myself, what I honestly feel is right for me... Or do I hold on? It seems like such an easy choice until you consider that it is made up of the same choice with different variables; over and over on much smaller levels that lead to a larger consequence.

A lot has been going on in my own life in the past few weeks, and being kind of a private person I will keep the particulars to myself. But some things have happened that I have put on a very brave front about and let very few ever know that I am upset at all, and even those I have... there are even fewer who honestly have seen me grieve about it. In fact.. I can only think of one. Even then, I am fairly sure I tried to pull myself together and dismiss it as no big deal... Why have I been doing all of this? Because the reason I was hurt was that I took a risk, knew what the dangers were, and I saw something I that I still believe is worth being brave for. In fact my belief in it, is the thing I have fought harder for than probably anything else. The good, the good that is in every single person on this planet, whether we choose to utilize it or not.

I will be the first to admit, that I have been burned by this many many times, but there are also many times when I haven't been. Where something wonderful has come out of horrible situations when no one thought it was possible. Those things are why I continue to take risks, why I hold on to this particular ideal, when many people, most with good intentions, have tried to "correct" this about me. Usually because they are worried about me. The thing is, I know I will be okay. I also know that I am pretty in touch with my emotions most of the time, and if I am in a place where I need to hear it will be okay, I will ask. And despite knowing that I will be okay in the end, that doesn't mean that it isn't allowed to hurt, suck, or be hard. It means I know I will get over it. However, knowing what I am feeling, seeing it, admitting it, dealing with it as it is; is a crucial part to actually being okay, instead of just pretending to be.


To bring it full circle back to the monkey bars... I think you need to have a good grip on the bar before you can really let go, or you'll fall. You also need to know what you're reaching for, or you wont get to the next one.. :S

Basically... I've decided to hold on to my goals, who I am, the type of person I am trying to be, in general the things I am reaching for. I tend to get criticized for this choice, but it's always worth it. Anything that doesn't help me do that, I'll work to let go of to move forward in what I'm holding on to. Even if what I am letting go of is something I really would like to hold on to. Maybe one day it can be something to reach for and hold onto again. But if its just straining my arms to hold on to it, and I'm not going anywhere... why should I hold on?